One year ago today I was born. Born into a world that I had created of confusion, hurt, leading while blind, and a will determined not to fully submit to my God, but rather controlled by my many gods. We all struggle with this at some point in our life. Maybe not to the degree upon which my tribulations seemed to affect me; but no less traumatic, and just as devastating to other people, did I cause pain and suffering. Similar what others actions have done in their own lives and to those they love. Side note: For those “we” affect, it’s not intentional, and if we could we would take away all the pain, and suffer the rest of our lives, just to see you smile again.
What I realize now is that all the things that lead up to my “birthday” were only contractions, forcing my birth to occur. The strife of trying to gain something tangible, the women, the alcohol, all were pains I felt as my “birthing” drew near. And what a “big baby” I was when I was born. No way to take care of myself, no way to fend for myself, and no one to care for me and protect me.
After screaming and crying, as most babies do right after delivery, I pondered my new surroundings. This was a whole new world. And I wondered, “Who will be there for me?” I called out, yet no one answered. I looked for the familiar, but everything was strange. I tried to find a place to hide, but there was nowhere to run. I suddenly realized I was naked, alone, and afraid.
Then I heard a voice, calling me gently, “Son, Son, I am right here waiting for you.” Was this my mother, who had always been there for me? Was this my father who never stuck around? No, it was the One I least suspected. My Savior came to get me, and drew me near unto Him. In perfect love I felt the sheer magnetism of His love for me and the unmistakable desire He had for me to, no longer suffer, but to experience His fullness of joy. He called me ever so softly, and with great anticipation, but an unexplained calmness, I ran to Him as He stood with arms wide open. “Father, Father!” I exclaimed. “You are the only thing that matters, and truly You are the only One who can always be right where I need You.”
As the days moved on, I would wake up in the “night” of my new world. Everything seemed dark and scary, yet He covered me with His blanket of peace. I watched my so called “life” crumble around me, and He said, “Will you trust me and lean on my Word?” (Walking by faith not by sight -2 Cor 5:7) I agonized as I struggled to sit up, crawl and stand. But He was there, ever lifting, ever giving, ever loving me as if I was something special; His only child. (I will never leave you nor forsake you –Heb 13:5) There was no where I went that He didn’t go with me (Matt 28:20); nothing I said, that He did first give me (For I will give you words of wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict Luke 21:15) nothing that I thought that He didn’t show me why (Commit thy works unto the LORD and your thoughts shall be established – Prov 16:3). We were in paradise, here on earth: He and I. Now I know what Adam and Eve felt like before the fall.
He strengthened me, molded me, raised up the things my mother has instilled in me. He took my past life hardships, which I had suffered and began to show me why and how they would now be my footstools (I will make your enemies a footstool for your feet - Luke 22:43). He gave me new vision, new hope, and new desire (I will put my Spirit in you and cause you and cause you to walk in my commandments and to keep my judgments, and to do them – Eze 36:27). I humbled myself and He gave me a right desire for the right reasons, for the right things (Be afflicted, mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to heaviness, Humble yourself in the sight of the LORD, and He shall lift you up – James 4:9-10). He made me a true son of His, which makes Him my Father (I will be a Father to you and you will be my son – 2 Cor 6:18). Do I have it all right yet? Do I know all there is to know? Am I now made perfect? Do I now do all things perfectly? No, that is reserved for my glory in heaven. Are all things great now? Do I have all that I need? Have I received all that He promised me the day I was born? No, but that is developing as I grow older: remember I am only ONE year old today.
What have I learned you ask? In the end, rewards here on earth prove insufficient. For even when time turns the community in which I live into history, history standing alone, is infinite and hence ultimately tragic. It is tragic only because it must end- eventually history, too, will die- but in its refusal to be perfected. Hope and history are always light years apart. The final human good must lie elsewhere. That is where my Heavenly Father sits. Watching over me, loving me, protecting me, and guiding me. For in serving Him, I fulfill my earthly desire to be relevant (gaining something tangible), to make love (the women), and to be free from the pain that I was not, nor could be satisfied fully while setting my sights on things of this world, (the alcohol [to mask] the pain).
So today I say “Happy Birthday” to me, who by God’s grace and mercy, I have been made free. How did I get free? The bible says, “You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall make you free.” I got to know Jesus. Not just religion, but a RELATIONSHIP. Will you now come and learn Him for yourself? Maybe next year we can celebrate our “birthdays” together.
If this touches you and you want to know more about the Jesus in my life, call me RIGHT NOW @ 214 725 9962. He's waiting and calling you too!
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